1) The first attribute of a virtuous wife is that she is virtuous and righteous.
Among the attributes of a righteous wife, this verse of the Holy Quran (which is in Surah Nisa) is of great importance. In this, Allah Ta'ala first explained the authority and dominance of the man, which makes it clear that the system of the house can run with peace and tranquility only when the woman (wife) who comes to this house is of the husband. Will recognize the upper hand, what will be the result? Allah Almighty said:
نیک بیوی کی صفات
فَالصَّالِحَّتُ قَانِّتٌٌ حافِزٌٌ
Al-Nisa – 34
"A good woman is a bearer of the word (both of her Lord and of her husband) and protects the hidden things because Allah has protected her too."
In it, attributes like the obedience of a good woman and the protection of hidden affairs and in her absence, the protection of her wealth, her home and her chastity have been described as the result of a man's status. This means that a woman who will not accept this natural superiority of a man, will not be able to fulfill the requirements of goodness and obedience, while the peace and tranquility of the home depends on the fulfillment of these requirements.
The reason for the protection of occult matters is that Allah has also protected the rights of women and they are in such a way that the man is bound to give the woman the right to dowry, her maintenance and housing. and fulfill his other needs.
A man's life is very happy with this kind of righteous and virtuous woman and there is no stress and tension in situations and affairs. However, the woman who is deprived of these attributes will develop within her the opposite of these attributes which will make the relationship between man and woman unpleasant.
2) The woman should not be virgin and its meaning
What is the problem and what is the solution that Allah has revealed?
The same verse in question says:
وَالّٰتِيْ تَخَافُوْنَ نُشُوْزَھُنَّ فَعِظُوْھُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوْھُنَّ
Al-Nisa – 34
"Those women from whom you are afraid of evil, then you should preach and advise them and separate them in beds and rebuke them."
In the Arabic language, Nishuz is called Altitude. Here this word will mean that the woman who, instead of considering the man as the superior, will try to convince her superior and instead of obeying him, will give her command and try to keep the man under control. If the results are against nature, it will result in nothing but the destruction of the house.
Allah Ta'ala has made the man superior to the woman for two reasons, one is related to the Wahbi attribute that he is blessed with more strength and energy and more mental and mental abilities than the woman, the other is related to the harlot attribute. That a man fulfills all the needs of a woman by working hard (dower, non-maintenance and other needs are the responsibility of the man). A righteous person who is not content, she fights against nature by taking the path of disobedience and ungratefulness, as a result of which unevenness and unhappiness arise in the relationship between husband and wife.
➤ He should be preached and advised, he should be warned from Allah.
➤ If it does not fall, the man should stop sleeping with her at night and separate for the duration of the night.
➤ If even this separation does not induce him to understand, then beat him lightly so as not to harm any of his organs. Because the purpose of this discipline (reprimand) is to correct him and not to harm him physically.
➤ If the problem is not resolved even by this, then the family members should be informed about the situation and two arbitrators should be appointed, who will listen to both sides and make a decision in the light of it.
From this description, it became clear that one of the attributes of a good woman is that she is not nashaza, that is, she is the bearer of her husband's command and not the one who makes him the bearer of her command. She should be the one who recognizes his superiority in the house and not the one who considers herself superior, the one who lives as her husband and not the one who keeps the husband as her own, and the one who understands the rights of the husband and pays him. Not on the contrary, only asserting and persuading one's own right.
I pray to Allah from this woman
3) Bearer of husband's orders in good deeds
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was asked: Which woman is better? You said:
اَلَّتِی تَسُرُّہُ إِذَا نَظَرَ، وَتُطِیعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَ، وَلَا تُخَالِفُهُ فِیمَا یَکْرَہُ فِی نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهِ
"That woman, when her husband looks at her, she should look at him with a happy look, when her husband orders her to do something, she should do it, and she should not take such an attitude towards herself and her husband's property contrary to his wishes." Do what her husband dislikes." [1]
4) Welcome the husband with a smile and good clothes
In this hadith, there is also a description of a few other attributes besides commandment. Among them, an attribute has been described that if the husband looks at her, her attitude and her appearance should be such that the husband would be shocked to see her. One thing was learned from this that a woman should welcome her husband with a smile, not make a face, not have signs of sadness and anger on her face, not be full of anger.
5) He should fully protect his integrity and reputation
One attribute was found to be to fully protect one's chastity and reputation and not to adopt such a behavior with anyone at any time that would cause any complaint to the husband or be against his manly honor and modesty. That is why, in a hadith, a woman has been urged not to allow any person whom her husband dislikes to enter the house.
From the intertext of this hadith, it is also known that the husband's close relatives in the house are younger brothers (wife's brother-in-law, brother-in-law) and similarly the woman's close relatives, her maternal uncles, cousins, aunts, and paternal grandparents. , (who are now called cousins) should also arrange a veil, do not be frank with them. More frankness, closeness and nakedness than them are very dangerous, which can even destroy the sanctity of his innocence. That is why Dewar, Jeeth, etc. have been declared as death in the hadith.
6) Do not dispose of the property of the husband unnecessarily
Another attribute mentioned in this hadith is that a woman should not dispose of her husband's wealth in a way that the husband dislikes, which means that she should avoid wasteful spending and likewise spending money on unnecessary things. Always keep the man's income in front and make your budget accordingly and spend everything within that circle. She should even give charity and charity while staying in the same circle so that her husband does not object to it and if she feels the need to give more charity and charity, she should consult her husband and without his permission, give more charity than she can. And don't give charity that affects the household budget or causes problems for the husband.
7) Very kind to children, taking care of husband's interests
In a hadith, these two attributes of the best and most righteous oath have been described:
ََّْنَهُ عَلّي وَلَدٍ في صغرِهُ وَّرَْاُُ عَلّي زوْجٍ فِي زَتِِ يَدِّ
"Very kind and compassionate to her children while they are young, and very considerate of their interests in the affairs of their husbands."
From this hadith, it is clear that a woman's scope is the four walls of the house, in which she has to bear the burden of two more responsibilities, in addition to doing the household affairs. One is the protection of children, which spans the stages from conception to adoption and beyond. Service and obedience to the other husband. As if a woman has to perform three services at the same time:
➤ Home affairs.
➤ Raising and supervising children.
➤ Serving the husband and satisfying his wishes.
These three services are so great that all her moments of the day and night are spent in it, thus she completely becomes the partner of the man and provides comfort to the man, due to which the man becomes unconcerned with domestic affairs. He is engaged in business.
That is why the Islamic Shariat has not liked to put a woman in the shackles of earning money because it would have been a dual responsibility to take care of all the management of the house and also to provide capital to run the house system. This is oppression. Islam has saved the woman from this oppression and has made the man fully responsible for earning a living.
8) The importance and emphasis of serving and obeying the husband
The importance and importance of serving and obeying one's husband in Islam can be estimated from the following hadiths.
In a hadith, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
"If I were to order someone to prostrate to someone, I would surely order a woman to prostrate to her husband." [3]
In another hadith he said:
"A woman should not fast in the presence of her husband without his (postpartum) permission."[4]
9) Whenever the husband calls his wife, he should fulfill her wish without delay.
In another hadith, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
"By the One in Whose Hand is the life of Muhammad, a woman cannot fulfill the right of her Lord until she fulfills the right of her husband, if the husband desires his (cohabitation) from her." express it while she is sitting on the camel's back (with stirrups, sitting in a carriage to go somewhere, etc.), even then he should not refuse to fulfill her wish.''[5]
10) A woman who refuses is cursed by angels.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"When a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels curse her until morning."
The words of another tradition are as follows:
"When a woman leaves her husband's bed and spends the night, the angels continue to curse her until he returns." [6]
Even the one in heaven is angry with such a woman.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
وَالَّذِی نَفْسِی بِیَدِہٖ! مَا مِنْ رَجُلٍ یَدْعُوا اِمْرَأَتَهُ إِلٰی فِرَاشِھَا، فَتَابٰی عَلَیْهِ إِلَّا کَانَ الَّذِی فِی السَّمَاءِ سَاخِطًا عَلَیْھَا، حَتّٰی یَرْضیٰ عَنْھَا
"By Him in Whose hand is my life, a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses to come to him, then the Lord of the Heavens becomes angry with him until The husband should be satisfied with it.”[7]
Based on the hadiths of this article, the scholars have said that it is forbidden for a woman to refuse to go to her husband's bed without any Shariah excuse, even during the days of menstruation, there is no scope for her to refuse because even in the state of menstruation. Apart from sexual intercourse, the husband is allowed to enjoy the woman.
Just like the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) himself is proven to kiss and avoid (intimacy) with wives in this state.
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